When I was 5 years old my family went on vacation for a week. We left a brand new kitten at home under a neighbor's watch. When we returned home we couldn't find her anywhere. My mom commented for some reason that she had forgot to drain the bath tub. My dad jokingly said that the kitten had probably drowned thanks to my mom.
20 seconds later we found the kitten's body floating in the old bathwater.
I ran to my room to grab this pump I had... I had this balloon animal kit that came with a manual air pump. I wanted to pump air into the kitten... I wanted to bring her back to life.
When I was 6 we had a little barbecue... just my mom and dad and I. My mom and I were eating hamburgers in the 2nd story bedroom while my dad turned the grill off in the backyard. Suddenly there was nothing but fire outside the window... and then screams. The barbecue had exploded and my dad was badly burned- third degree burns all over his face and chest. The neighbors came rushing because they thought a car had exploded.
The paramedics came and took him to the hospital. This is when I decided I liked ambulances and emergency rooms and the nurses and doctors. He was in the hospital for a while and it took a long time for him to heal, but now you can't even tell he was burned.
When my grandma was in the ICU an amazing doctor played latex-glove-balloon volleyball with me. He explained why an elevated white blood cell count was bad. The nurses showed me stuff on the monitors.
When I was 10 my dad started convulsing on the couch. I remembered the story he told me about his sister having a couple of seizures in childhood. I called 911 immediately.I rode up front in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. This is the day I decided I would be involved in this field. I just knew.
Basically, I've been in the ER or the back of an ambulance or in the hospital either as a patient or as a family member many, many more times than I can count. Every single time the paramedics, EMTs, nurses, respiratory therapists, and doctors have treated me with respect and compassion, regardless of my age or situation.
I was always fascinated by medicine and I enjoyed being in the hospital. I felt guilty throughout my childhood because although concerned, I always got a little bit excited and happy when one of my family members was hospitalized because I enjoyed being in the the hospital so much. I felt "right" there. I still do.
I realize that I am very young and I refuse to confine myself to this one option; I will remain open-minded. However I feel deeply that it is my calling and I will pursue it vigorously until something else proves itself more worthy.
Showing posts with label serious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label serious. Show all posts
2.04.2008
1.31.2008
"Over my dead body"
EMS is not my only pursuit in life. I also design, write and edit for the school paper. Check out this editorial I wrote for the Feb issue.
A Buddhist funeral inTibet
A Buddhist funeral in
Most of you will find this practice repulsive, even barbaric and disrespectful. I find it to be absolutely inspiring.
Today, death is something that most of the living keep a safe distance from. In America the corpses of our loved-ones are usually whisked away by strangers, bled out, pumped full of toxic chemicals for an unnatural freshness, sealed in a metal casket, and dropped into a concrete tomb.
Each burial adds more non-biodegradable materials and noxious chemicals to the cemetery and takes away from the land and resources available to living people and animals. The whole process will usually cost a family at least $6,000-$8,000.
Other bodies will be cremated in a fossil-fuel-driven incinerator, releasing dangerous pollutants such as carbon monoxide, sulfur dioxide and mercury vapor into the atmosphere. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” is usually not the case here, as most cremains will be placed in an urn, isolated from the ground.
I am disgusted by these practices. As a biologically-minded person, I am comforted by my affirmations that Earth is but a pebble covered with a film of life; a living, breathing sugar-coating whose livelihood depends on the continuous cycling and transfer of energy and matter.
Therefore, I actually find the idea of my body decomposing and being consumed by other living things to be quite soothing. (this bit was a huge pull quote. haha.) Perhaps a molecule of my bone will one day find itself in a blade of grass, or a bird’s feather.
I don’t want to be embalmed, placed in a concrete tomb cut off from the Earth, or wasted in a fire. This can be an extremely difficult task, considering anything besides the standard American funeral can be almost impossible to accommodate and even taboo.
In my ideal funeral, which at the time is impossible in
1.13.2008
my one and only unsuccessful search
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the only unsuccessful search I've ever been on. I don't think people realize how rarely SAR fails to find someone, and we usually find them alive and well in good time too.
Last year this guy went missing in the woods around his house. He was an older, retired military officer with severe Alzheimer's- he was non-communicative, didn't get around too well, but had received extensive survival training in the military. He had gone to check on his horses with his dogs. They found his ATV crashed - no sign of the man or his dogs.
The terrain was fairly rocky, out in the middle of nowhere with scattered ranches. It was late summer so the days were warm but in the mountains the nights easily get cold enough to cause hypothermia - especially in an older, unprepared, underdressed elderly person exposed for a long time. I was very concerned. I wanted to find him BAD. Previous searches had been for experienced, younger hikers with sufficient supplies.
Our team got called down to the search days after it had started. There were probably about 50 people searching on foot, and a helicopter with thermal detection in the sky. Our team of 4 completed 2 patterns. Nothing was found, no evidence of him... just nothing. I had to go home that night, but others from my team stayed and more went up the next couple of days.
Nothing.
I was so frustrated that weekend.. I kept thinking:
"We searched for you for hours... hundreds of us! Where did you go? How far could you have gone?"
People in SAR and EMS tend to keep hope up for too long or lose it too soon. We've seen people pull through and live through extraordinary odds, and have seen tiny little things kill big people. I knew he was probably dead after he was missing for well over a week, but this little inkling of hope based on his survival training marched on.
About a month after the search, the man's body was found by some hunters about 2 miles away from his house. His two dogs were alive and still by his side, which is pretty unbelievable and a story in itself.
The thing that killed me, though, was what the medical examiner released to the media. He said the man probably died from exposure, dehydration, hypothermia, etc the day after I was on the search. He was alive when we took the 3-hour drive down there, he was alive when I stocked my pack and laced my boots, he was alive when I called for his dogs and shouted his name while trudging through the woods. He wasn't in our pattern, but still... it's the type of thing that never leaves you.
He was alive.
Last year this guy went missing in the woods around his house. He was an older, retired military officer with severe Alzheimer's- he was non-communicative, didn't get around too well, but had received extensive survival training in the military. He had gone to check on his horses with his dogs. They found his ATV crashed - no sign of the man or his dogs.
The terrain was fairly rocky, out in the middle of nowhere with scattered ranches. It was late summer so the days were warm but in the mountains the nights easily get cold enough to cause hypothermia - especially in an older, unprepared, underdressed elderly person exposed for a long time. I was very concerned. I wanted to find him BAD. Previous searches had been for experienced, younger hikers with sufficient supplies.
Our team got called down to the search days after it had started. There were probably about 50 people searching on foot, and a helicopter with thermal detection in the sky. Our team of 4 completed 2 patterns. Nothing was found, no evidence of him... just nothing. I had to go home that night, but others from my team stayed and more went up the next couple of days.
Nothing.
I was so frustrated that weekend.. I kept thinking:
"We searched for you for hours... hundreds of us! Where did you go? How far could you have gone?"
People in SAR and EMS tend to keep hope up for too long or lose it too soon. We've seen people pull through and live through extraordinary odds, and have seen tiny little things kill big people. I knew he was probably dead after he was missing for well over a week, but this little inkling of hope based on his survival training marched on.
About a month after the search, the man's body was found by some hunters about 2 miles away from his house. His two dogs were alive and still by his side, which is pretty unbelievable and a story in itself.
The thing that killed me, though, was what the medical examiner released to the media. He said the man probably died from exposure, dehydration, hypothermia, etc the day after I was on the search. He was alive when we took the 3-hour drive down there, he was alive when I stocked my pack and laced my boots, he was alive when I called for his dogs and shouted his name while trudging through the woods. He wasn't in our pattern, but still... it's the type of thing that never leaves you.
He was alive.
1.07.2008
"Too Close to Home"
I just found this article on the JEMS website... it shocked me. I hadn't heard anything about this. LFR is the fire dept. that we work closely with... our headquarters is located in LFR station 12. Just bizarre. The article also goes on to discuss the problem of suicide in Colorado. The suicide rate in CO is high compared to the rest of the nation, and that rate is increasing. The article provides an interesting examination of the effects of suicide calls on emergency personnel. I'll post again when part 2 comes out.
"On Oct. 29, death came knocking on Station 13's front door, but luckily none of the crew was there to answer. An elderly male parked his car on the lawn -- right in front of the station's sign just feet away from the day room windows and front service door. He got out, removed a large hand gun from the vehicle and shot himself in the chest with the high-caliber weapon. He apparently survived the first wound to his chest and then shot himself in the head. The second shot left him unconscious and barely breathing in a large pool of blood on the sidewalk. Station 13's crew was out of the firehouse at the time of the shooting. A series of station tones rang out in their vehicles, and a familiar voice aired an ALS response, "Engine 13 and Medic 13 respond on a possible suicide in front of your station, standby for law enforcement."
"This patient was no stranger to the members of Littleton's Station 13. Just five months earlier, he had attempted suicide using carbon monoxide at his home. Station 13's crew found him in his garage with the car running. He was semi-unconscious, barely breathing and saying he wanted to kill himself. He had written a note, collected his personal papers and provided his insurance papers for whoever would find him. The crew transported him to a local hospital, where he spent time in intensive care and received mental health counseling for his depression. He was released, only to complete his suicide wishes months later on the sidewalk of Littleton's Fire Station 13.
"On Oct. 29, death came knocking on Station 13's front door, but luckily none of the crew was there to answer. An elderly male parked his car on the lawn -- right in front of the station's sign just feet away from the day room windows and front service door. He got out, removed a large hand gun from the vehicle and shot himself in the chest with the high-caliber weapon. He apparently survived the first wound to his chest and then shot himself in the head. The second shot left him unconscious and barely breathing in a large pool of blood on the sidewalk. Station 13's crew was out of the firehouse at the time of the shooting. A series of station tones rang out in their vehicles, and a familiar voice aired an ALS response, "Engine 13 and Medic 13 respond on a possible suicide in front of your station, standby for law enforcement."
"This patient was no stranger to the members of Littleton's Station 13. Just five months earlier, he had attempted suicide using carbon monoxide at his home. Station 13's crew found him in his garage with the car running. He was semi-unconscious, barely breathing and saying he wanted to kill himself. He had written a note, collected his personal papers and provided his insurance papers for whoever would find him. The crew transported him to a local hospital, where he spent time in intensive care and received mental health counseling for his depression. He was released, only to complete his suicide wishes months later on the sidewalk of Littleton's Fire Station 13.
What was his motivation to commit this act in front of a public building, where so many school children have come for station tours? Of all places, why here? Did he come to the firehouse looking for the crews who had defeated his earlier suicide attempt? Was this a planned homicide-suicide quickly modified when he discovered Station 13's crew missing? No one will ever know his motivation even though a suicide note was found in his car. He did not mention why he chose Station 13 for his final moments, only who he was and who should be called after his planned death."
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