11.24.2008

XY XY XY XY XY... XX (and then there's me)

An abnormally large portion of my life has been spent around men. I was raised by a single father, my first best friend was a boy, and now all of my close friends (minus 1) are male. I spend my free time with a group of about 5 guys, ages 18-21. We go to school together, search together, rescue together, eat together, hang out together, work out together...

It's an interesting dynamic.

I am, essentially, "one of the guys". I am subject to all of the highlights of male friendships, like farting, inappropriate gestures, ridiculous pranks, a constant stream of sexual innuendo and sexist jokes, and random wrestling matches.

But I know that I will never, ever truly be "one of the guys," and that's not a bad thing. I'm just different. As my friend Code once put it, with good intentions, "You're an ARP (SAR team) girl. You're not female. You're not male. You're basically genderless."

They still open doors for me and act protectively and gentlemanly, when warranted. But it's more than that. By listening to them converse in the group, I know for a fact that each of them tells me much more about their personal lives than they tell each other.

When it's just one of them and me, I hear about deadbeat alcoholic brothers, dying dogs, distant girlfriends, crazy moms, jealous exes...

These are things that, apparently, the boys do not discuss in depth, if at all, with each other. Maybe it's relieving to have a woman's nonjudgmental, sympathetic ear to release these deeply personal tensions on.

Although there are unique connections, there are also rituals I won't break into. My boys are top-notch skiers and major powderhounds, and even though they'd let me come if I could ski worth a lick, I don't think I would try to invade on their special testosterone time anyways. They need it.

1 comment:

JS said...

Its good that you know your place in the group! Dynamics of a male group changes any time a female is around. You may not think so, but they are different when you are not with them. So, its good you let them have man time! JS