We were running scenarios in my EMT class yesterday. I was playing patient: my "husband" and I had a nasty case of food poisoning from some bad crab cakes. We were sitting at a table when the guy who was running the scenario came in... let's call him Jimbo.
I fake-puked on his feet and apologized profusely.
My "husband" said "I gotta warn you man... I'm explosive outta both ends."
Jimbo put his hands up and immediately walked out of the door and told the instructor: "I'm calling Hazmat. This is CO."
The instructor, the other students and I all got that furrow in our brows.
Instructor: "Hold on a second. You think this is carbon monoxide poisoning?"
Jimbo: "Yes. There's two people sick with flu-like symptoms in the same place. The book says that's carbon monoxide poisoning and that you can't enter."
Me: "We were awake and talking... you could've asked us what was going on you know. Explosive vomiting and diarrhea aren't really signs of CO poisioning."
Jimbo: "Well the book and [main instructors name] says flu-like symptoms... yadayadayadayada... blah blah..." he continued to defend his diagnosis.
The room was silent for a second as the instructor tried to find what to say. She kinda ripped into him. Just a little bit.
They went back and forth for a while. Jimbo's the type of guy that gets ultra-defensive when he gets called on an error, regardless of how minor it is. He won't admit to being wrong without a fight, and when he does admit it he blames it on circumstance or someone else.
We restarted the scenario, but Jimbo was butt-hurt and tried to pass the scenario onto another student. The instructor insisted that Jimbo continue to lead. They went back and forth for a while before he finally agreed to continue.
He started back on the right path... asking questions and surveying the patients and scene. My "husband" excused himself to go to the bathroom to poop.
Jimbo to instructor: "Ok. So I'm going to want him to poop in a bucket so I can take it to the ER."
I couldn't take it. I burst out laughing.
Instructor, with a look of pure disgust: "Why? Why would you want a bucket of poop in your ambulance?"
Me: "Jimbo, can you imagine what the nurse would say if you handed her a bucket of shit? Can you imagine the look on her face?"
Again, a squabble arose, with Jimbo defiantly defending his shit-collecting and the instructor and I raising the points of only needing a tiny tiny bit for hemoccult tests, that the man has explosive diarrhea... he's probably going to give 'em a massive stool sample at the ER eventually, and that bringing in poop will give you the reputation in the ER as "that crazy guy who brought in a bucket of diarrhea."
Oooooh brother.
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2 comments:
Ahhh, the difference between learning what the book says and what the job says.
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